Every time I get my haircut…

I do an internet search and save some pictures of hair I like.

I realize now, that my phone has over a hundred copies of the same two photos of Ryan Gosling.

Moth Storyslam WINNER (from last November) - Theme: Obstacles - Title: Porn Cold War

This is a true story about the time I found my dad’s Playboy collection.

Hey guys, sorry I’m posting this so late but I just realized that this clip was available online… thought it had just disappeared into the ether that is “network television.”

'The Lookout' team puts mattresses to the test in an unscientific experiment.

Hey everybody, if you happen to be in New York City this Wednesday, and you’re like “Oh my god, like, I don’t know what to do.”
You SHOULD come out to the Stand Up NY Labs and join me for The Nines… Comedy with a dress code.
April 9th at 9pm; Stand Up NY Labs, 236 W 78th Street.

Hey everybody, if you happen to be in New York City this Wednesday, and you’re like “Oh my god, like, I don’t know what to do.”

You SHOULD come out to the Stand Up NY Labs and join me for The Nines… Comedy with a dress code.

April 9th at 9pm; Stand Up NY Labs, 236 W 78th Street.

This happened the other day at Starbucks…

So I’m standing outside of a Starbucks bathroom for about 15 minutes. The door says “in use” but I don’t hear any noise from inside and I really have to go. I gently knock three times and still I hear nothing. After another minute, the hand dryer goes off and then the door opens. This guy walks out, casually holding his coffee cup in his hand (which I think is gross), and walks past me.

Then, as if he couldn’t help himself, he turns around and says to my back (real snarky): “Is there a problem?”

I look at him: “What?”

Him: “Is there a problem?”

Me: “Why would there be a problem?”

Him: “Well you’re rapping on the door. There must be a problem.”

Me: “I knocked three times, politely. I wasn’t even sure somebody was in there.”

He just sneers at me, turns and walks into the restaurant…

So I shout after him: “Oh AND it smells like SHIT in here!”

He stops, everyone looks up, he turns to look at me… and I say, “Is there a problem?”

I have a very poor sense of smell.

Which, in New York, is like having a super power.

Good use of resources…

I just printed over 50 pieces of paper from the internet for my boss on “Tips For Staying Green”

It’s weird that women have biological clocks AND hourglass figures…

and they’re STILL late for everything.

If you’re in the NYC area, come out this Wednesday to see the new show, The Nines; hosted by yours truly and my cohost, Kaytlin Bailey. 7 comics. No cover. No drink minimum.

If you’re in the NYC area, come out this Wednesday to see the new show, The Nines; hosted by yours truly and my cohost, Kaytlin Bailey. 7 comics. No cover. No drink minimum.

New pic #seriousface

New pic #seriousface